The heart wants what it wants

I powered through the first 6 weeks of this breakup feeling all of it.

And then week 7 hit and the last 2 weeks have been exhausting and tiring. The body goes through this period of grief, and because I’m insistent on going through it and not over it, I feel all of the heaviness bringing my body down closer to earth, as if gravity suddenly has a greater effect on my body on a cellular level.

Letting someone go is painful.

Coming to terms with the fact that a relationship has come to an end is hard heart work.

I find myself tired. And drained. But also….more deeply empathetic and excited for how the future can look like. Because I know that underneath all of these autumn leaves, spring will come. And spring will bring a fresh start. Flowers will peek their little buds out, there will be a sense of new life. And I can almost feel it coming.

But for now, my mind and body will stay wintry for a little while. My spirit is aching and ill let her stew in pain for as long as she needs.

Loss and love are so often intertwined, it’s almost impossible to want one without being prepared for the other.

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