Marianne, I count my lucky stars when we met.
I have asked myself again and again why you dwell in my subconscious.
I ask myself why you come to me in my recurring dreams – always crying.
I don’t know you at all as a person, but a teacher disguised as You came to me so often, I had to first pull down that mask to discover the true lesson. And you have taught me an important lesson. That the most powerful emotion in the world is not actually love, but empathy.
The greatest “good” in the world is only as powerful as the greatest “evil”. But what exactly is good and evil? They are only but strongly opposing emotions, unable to agree on the agreed upon rules.
Empathy is powerful because having empathy means knowing both sides. She isnt all knowing but because she chooses to understand, she allows both strong opposing forces to flow through her. Empathy allows us to acknowledge both sides of a coin, both dark and light, yin and yang.
Just as showing and receiving love is something we can choose to do, once we learn how to, showing empathy is uqually the same.
Yes we are not only as good or as bad as our actions but we can also decide to act differently precisely cause we embody both good and bad, and that’s how we are supposed to be.
Alas however, it is still important that we choose our actions wisely. For when it comes to our karmic patterns and following our soul’s purpose, It’s not who we ARE but what we do. And everytime we betray ourselves by reacting disproportionately and unfairly to events, we lose a part of ourselves and forget slowly who we are.
We have to remember we are all completely capable of both “good or bad” thoughts, intentions and emotions. Because, at the core of us, at the centre of us all, is not only love. Its pure energy projected into actions, motivated by intentions. And intentions matter, because they govern our actions.
What we think is good or bad is too simplistic by nature. We are such complex beings.
Black and white are different shades of grey. And you have to realize that within us, exists both postive nd negative pulls.
People are BOTH shadow and light.
By now, Marianne, I understand now that the You I often keep in my subconscious may not really you, but it’s Me. Because I don’t really know you, do I?
Your actions just reminded parts of me I hadn’t been in touch with for a long time.
The anger I had against you, was really just directing my attention to my past. Not just trauma that belongs to me. But intergenerational trauma belonging to my mother, my mother’s mother and my ancestors before.
Marianne, I hope you know by now, you’re just reading about my experience as any reader would, unsure about what I’m actually trying to say. Those who know, will know. Those who understand, will understand. And for those whose these words will awaken, they will.
I have so much anger towards what you did to me, but I know that love and hate lie on the same spectrum, and by hating your actions I’ve also learned about the shadow side of my self. Because of your hateful behaviour towards me, you showed me how important it is that I work on true forgiveness and embracing my shadow.
This lesson matters so much to me, because I always knew I found love overrated. But true love can only come from true empathy, and so in a way, love still is a powerful emotion. Yet without ever having experienced true love before, it’s difficult to understand how to love or be loved.
How do we experience true love?
We touch base with ourselves, and as cliche as it sounds, we can easily tap into pure love, by looking within. Meeting you has taught me so many important lessons. That we CAN cultivate love as a natural resource within ourselves.
Especially as women, who hold womb power within us.
Marianne, there’s nothing to forgive.
You’re just on your own path and I am on mine. We’re two people on our own karmic paths having to right the wrongs of our ancestors. Go your way and be set free.