I remember when

I remember when all it took to love you

Was watching you laugh

When time slowed down, and I could hear your laughter ringing throughout the room. I could feel the vibrations bounce off my skin, reverberating off the walls and straight back into my ribcage, into my heart.

Moments when you’re still asleep and I’m still sleepy, me rolling over towards you, watching the soft sun beams light up parts of your face. Light up your eyebrows that carry no weight of the world, your lips that speak no lies.

The electricity pulsing at the tips of my fingertips when we first touch fingers, then warmth spreading very quickly all throughout my body – from the moment our palms touch to the moment my stomach registers how it feels to feel you.

I remember all the tears you shed onto my cheeks, as I held you against my body, soothing your pain. I remember the taste of your sorrows, as I invited them into my heart and vowed to carry us through the difficulties of life.

Love never departed us. We just stopped learning how to show love to each other. We stopped caring because we felt uncared for. We stopped waltzing with each other because we kept trying to figure out who first fell out of rhythm.

I stayed up all night, tell myself everything’s okay, our love is just harder to find. Every night, I’m dancing with a memory of us, a memory of you.

How do I love? How do I trust that you do love me? Can we even have different definitions of love?

I hear you tell me words and I tell myself – maybe you’re just momentarily in shock, temporarily tired.

But what if? I’ve been dancing with your ghost this whole time, and you’re already not here?

What if, I’m holding onto something that doesn’t really exist in this reality anymore?

It doesn’t quite matter does it? Because Now is made up of fleeting moments, and by the time we get here, it’s already yesterday.

Perhaps, you’ve been dancing with the ghost of me, and I no longer already exist.

If so, I wish you love and light, constant happiness, limited sadness, and always a never ending thirst for this third dimension life. I wish you endurance, I wish you peace, and I wish you carry pure love in your heart for humanity always.

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