If I died one day

If I died one day, earlier than I meant to

I hope that people knew how much I respected life

I hope they knew how much I loved them

I hope I told them enough, how much they meant to me

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy life. Its that I did. But like walking along the path of zingaro, I sometimes feel like life doesn’t get any better than this.

What is our purpose in life?

For many, it is to have children, to grow love within families, and to achieve many things

For me, my only purpose is to love life and enjoy it, to realize that life is a gift. And that relationships should be enjoyable. I sometimes know that I’m still depressed but I don’t like the connotation that comes with it.

My grandmother was medically diagnosed as bipolar and I saw how her life was managed by medicines and therapy.

Why do we try to suppress one’s emotions?

Last week I told my mum that I supported people who committed suicides. It’s not that I want people to kill themselves. But that I understood them. I understand what it feels like when you just feel numb towards life.

It’s not that I hate life. I love it. Its just that I sometimes don’t see a point in it. You know?

It’s like riding a roller coaster again and again and again. You already know when the highs and lows are coming. It’s predictable.

Idk if I could ever raise children in this world. I’ve met some people who have shown me that having children is so difficult. It’s such a huge responsibility. The world is also not that fantastic in the first place, is it?

Most people are selfish. Most just want to put themselves first.

Sometimes I definitely feel tired of trying to find meaning in life. Or some sort of purpose I suppose.

But every day is a new fight. And every day has been rewarding.

So, I guess. We shall see. šŸ™‚ until then, I’m happy to have known many people in my life. And I’m glad that life has been generous to me.

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