Ep. 42 ‘Damn these flashbacks’

This is a piece of autobiographical fiction. Space and time have been rearranged to suit the convenience of the book, and with the exception of public figures, any resemblance to persons living or dead is coincidental. The opinions expressed are those of the characters and should not be confused with the author’s.

This story is written as an example to anyone who wants to believe that we are more than the patriarchy deems us to be, more than our limitations, and more than our fears.

4th March, 2020

I receive a message from Gideon’s friend’s wife.

“Hi babe, i’m so sorry to ask you for this favour. Can you postpone asking for $30k from Gideon? It’s just that he’s been owing us money for almost 3 years and we really need that money to buy an apartment.”

“What?? I never asked him for $30k immediately. He told me to name a price. I told him that I just want what’s legally mine. I also told him he doesn’t need to pay me until we sell the house, I even said he could pay me in instalments if he was tight on cash” I told her.

“Jane, he owes us more than $X.”

“WHAT????? I’m so sorry!! I never knew. And he’s been telling everyone that I’m asking him for this money?”


I text another friend, someone who knows Gideon.

“Babe, did you know that Gideon borrowed money from someone and threw me under the bus for it?” I ask.

“Oh yeah, I heard about it. But he’s been saying that you’re a gold digger for the last 3 years though. He told everyone that you didn’t want to work – that you quit your job the minute y’all got married and that you made him pay for everything.” She tells me.

Flashbacks started pounding my head in.

Gideon: “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the late credit card payments. I really thought I could handle it.”

Jane: “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Gideon: “I don’t know. I thought I could handle it myself.”

Jane: “How did you think you could handle it? You know exactly how much you earn in a month. Did you sit down and calculate how much you would need to pay and how to pay them off?”

“Gideon: No….”

Jane: “So how did you think you could handle it?”

Gideon: “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“Jane is the reason our marriage is falling apart. She pushed all of the financial responsibilities onto me. I was getting so stressed. I couldn’t handle it.”

“Baby, don’t worry, I’m going to buy your ring back one day. I’m sorry that you had to pawn it to pay for our debts. I’m so sorry.”

Flashback to the photo of their engagement photograph – her ring shines brightly

Flashback to the day I ask him about it “Don’t worry, yours was more expensive”

Flashback to the day we sat down to figure out how to solve our debts

“Okay b, so you see. If we stick to this plan and we just continue controlling our expenses. We will be clear of our debt by early next year. It’s all going to be okay.” I had told him.

Flashback to us hugging things out after that conversation.

Flashback to the day he sat infront of my parents and told them that he was leaving our marriage for Marianne.

Can these flashbacks just PLEASE. STOP.

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